Ferenc Piller: You thought your name would stand here?

Now, everybody who hoped or feared to see his/her name on this page, Ferenc Piller has not put up any names here, nor for the good or the bad, not the name of the book makes its contents. Anyone in suspect connotation would recognize herself anyway. Whats the deal? If you have secretely hoped for to see your name here, read again, its there, and on my mind, Ferenc Piller just won't print it in letters...

For others, who have rather feared a publication, your name was included in a certain term, how about reading again, but this time from the point of Ferenc Piller - for once sake. Enough, sue me and get a surprise for free!

I've got a girlfriend

I thought to myself, this is gonna hurt, but at that point all was sad and done...

I've got a girlfriend

Big deal. I know. The whore still believes she's gonna find the man of her dreams on facebook. Still no big deal, your girlfriend does the same. This "man" outta the depths of facebook is the reason she won't settle for you, the reason she treats you like shit, because the right one is gonna come anyway, mr sixpack, little bit of macho, little bit of sweet, tattoos and a DA record, a badass motorcycle or at least one that your girlfriend believes is, and some kind of drug addiction, but liquor does it too. Did I forget to mention, the same age as her he has to be too, and share her interests also... yeah. Now we tough guys just spotted a slut that's gonna get old alone. We know, she won't find that mr right. Ever. Not on facebook, not on the internet nor in this part of her miserable universe. But I'm good enough till she does...

If he looks good, he gets a second date. Then they'll "write" on the internet, that is, the facebook fucking chat. So they can't see each other being the whacks they are, each one fooling the other the best she/he can... If at least one succeded in the outsmarting, they might meet at the club, of course looking as good as they can, caching minor/major flaws in their appearence, he spending money he can't afford, she expecting him to entertain her the best he can. Of course he never can, he's too nervous, if not, he probably just failed in first place... She likes suffering and struggling boyz, with a pitiful expression on their face, kind of phlegmatic retard big eyes and a childish too small ass... The way to her heart is full of torns and stones, false assumptions, fake promises and hopes in vain, and when you finally realise, it's too late, you're hooked, you lose control (I didn't, I just let go and enjoyed the ride, hell, I'm not one of her youngster hiphop pile of shits). She likes to dominate and to be in control, she plays tricks on you and claims she is so easy to manipulate, helpless-little-girl-show you know. She never asks for something that she wants, once she gets it, she says she didn't ask for it. If she doesn't succed in bewitching someone, make him do what she wants, she drops him, and claims he fucked it up... She wants a strong and selfconfident man, she says, well, yes, to brake him down and enslave him - that's her kick.

She's collecting prospect dicks like others collect books, but won't understand, while you can put books and things in your shelves, people eventually will move on, leaving you behind. They won't stay where you thought you put them, you don't rule this world honey, you don't rule a bit. If you thought them boyz are dying for your looks, think again, they were just dying for a moment, for an instant satisfaction. If they don't get what you promised, yes, promised with your looks, they go dying for the next cheap slut, which does what she's expected. Did I just call you slut? Never mind, your eyes were sparkling when I called you whore, remember? What difference does this make then? Oh... cheap? Well, if you shake your booty for everyone, and then you're wondering "the black guys are really keen on me lately", well, your lazy behind's got bigger over the last year, and you damn obviously expect the world to fall in to your lap for nothing and a penny, what do you call this? Oh, and those black guys with the big dicks (you think) like big butts anyway (upset yourself if I'm wrong).

Of course, after every fuckup, and often miserable fuck, she's back again, crying her heart out to me, what an asshole tried to get on HER. The part where SHE tried to whore him up in first place, naturally, she leaves out. You're not innocent, when them cocks you attracted are coming for serious business, you get the shits and run back home again, telling "they're just friends"... you know they aren't, they're just lurking to get it in. And you know that too. And you are playing with exactly that, walking on a thin line keeping their dick stiff in attention but not letting them cum, keeping a bunch of them, rivals, excited, hooping, dreaming. Keeping everything open, collecting choices, you name the game? Bad game, bad girl.

Her profile is plastered with victims that made it or eventually didn't make it in to her cunt. That's called friends on facebook. She rows up all those poor sods, fucked up dates and miserable hookups on her wall. It's like the curriculum vitae of her vagina, preselecting the losers of men, because what she doesn't´understand, mr right never gonna make a move on a whore like that. Mr right likes decent girls with decent record. So ME LOSER is stuck on a bitch like that, huh... yes, I love her. I love her like no one she's gonna find the way she thinks. I love her, not because of the whore she is. Her dreams still flying high, she is naiv and stupid, egocentric and proud. But if she keeps going on like that, I lose my beliefe in her pure heart, or she might even prove herself to be heartless. If you go on like that, you will lose my heart one of these days, you will lose it for the last time ever.

When she talks to me, she doesn't understand, she's got a dagger in my heart, and keeps it turning with her words. Her clueless opinions, sound like wisdom in her own little world, but turn to nonsense in the streets, I can't shake my head enough, I can't keep telling her how wrong her head is, how different everything is out here... curiosity might kill cats, but pride and stupidity is gonna take you down. Every now and then, when I tell her that her attitude drives me out of my mind, she's laughing, like someone clapping her on the shoulder, I say "shit, no, that's not a compliment, that's no good", she's even happier - what went wrong with you girl? I know she's an attention whore, while she hates people staring at her, she does anything to get them doing it, what the fuck, once she gets the looks, she seemes to be on drugs.

As soon as you get in to my car, and as I understood, in anybodys car, you start playing with that fucking radio. Zapping and hopping from station to station, you can't listen to any tune for more than two seconds, saying "I like the fast songs" and ramming the seat with your solid ass, your hands in the air, well, under the roof, digging anything you know like hell - for two seconds... this is good, that is good, do you know this, it's good... for two seconds. I've developed a theory. You listen with your eyes, you don't use your ears, except for receiving flattering compliments about how good you look, and picking up where the next party is. You "listen" to those hiphop-videos on mtv and youtube with your eyes, that's right, if you like that sweet gigolo on the screen, no matter how stupid he is or looks like, than he's talented, he's a good singer, 'sgot a nice voice. Did it ever occure to you, that you neva "listen" to female artists? That's a bad slut for cock...

When the love is gone, out of my eyes, what do I see? You've got the teeth of a horse, your eyes shine each in its direction, you've got the biggest ass I've ever put my... hands on, even your highest heels can't distract from your short legs. I was never a friend of big breasts and after yours I will never be, even wearing fifteen steel bras won't disguise gravity on them, I imagine your youth vanishing soon... who would show up in public with you on a beach. Naa, I don't wanna be rude on you, but why do i have to think of a cow when you shove them juggs up my face? It's like a threat, no, two huge threats, saying "my 'dick' is bigger than your dick", and you're right, they are out of sight.

Wait. I didn't mention your blond hair yet. It looks shit. It looks more artificial than a fake partywig from taiwan. Never the less, you are so fucking proud of it. The pricks you attract with your fakeblond hair are just as fake and cheap as your hair looks like. Get that. Remember the year you dyed your hair way darker? We talked beyond reason about the color you ought to have. Once I even fucked a whole day of work on assignment talking to you on the phone (about your next color of hair). The poor sods you attracted that year were way too intelligent for you, you couldn't play your usual tricks on them, worse, they uncovered your disguise and left you standing in the rain. So back to blond again, to dumbfuck pricks you could handle - back to your own world, where you belong.

I've never meant to nod you out of your paradise, you took care of that youself.

This is not my girlfriend. Never again.

fake bitch...

From you, with all your love...

You, "... with all my love", and no future from the beginning...

We were friends and lovers, you were basically all a man could ever wish for, the one and only ever that deserved to be regarded as the total woman (I never since met any hoe being more woman than you), a sudden but wonderful status quo that never changed, yeah, never changed...

What is a lifetime without future? With you, lieing next to, time had seemed to stop, like a black hole finishing me up, like this is the end, like our love is forever, like a train stopped in a tunnel, like a breath i never took - what scared me?

I never figured what's on your mind, and still you would be up to anything I would come up with. You said, when you ever hoped for a wish, it would never come true, so you stopped hoping - and you never talked about your dreams. But I could still find out things that would make you happy, and put that lovely smile upon your face - that smile made me happy.

You remember that trip to the ocean and the lakes, four of us, your girlfriend (she drove back the last bit, and I fell into coma, my head in your lap) and her temporary boyfriend (yeah... you got his blue sweater)? The sun-bright nights on that island in the lake, it was so quiet and peaceful and you were so ernst, then you turned around looking at me and I took that photograph of here and now and forever, and ever since, that moment has burned into my mind - we should have stopped life right there and right then. But life is not a train where you can pull the emergency brake and stay where you like, it just carries on, and carries you out of your mind.

I guess that trip showed us, how much we ever wanted it, how life not would be for us.

To all the girls I've loved before

This is to all the girls I've loved before, and all the girls I've hurt before - which probably will be the same girls anyway. Yes, I admit it: I have loved more than one time before. "So what" or "but there is only one love!". Well, there is only one of a kind. And I was different and the love was different. Or do you think i love my cat like I love my wife or do I love racing like I love my children?

I still dream of the one, where two hearts beat like one, and if you would have a thousand lives, you would live them all together, and after an eternity you still know it is forever even more. That one I actually found, miss Svenzzon. And lost. And found back again after many years. They say you never get a second chance, I don't know how lucky I am supposed to be, since I've got mine... now we've got the rest of each other, trying not to think of the youth and the years we've wasted without each other - once again, happiness goes along sorrow in my life, if that's the price, I'll pay it... thank you for being, I will never leave you again. Laugh and cry with you, live and die with you, my heart beats like the first day with you. You were the beginning, /I take you as you are/, /I will not die before you/, you are eternity, and guess what? Same shit again, let's wind up in twenty years again, when love doesn't matter anymore. You neva gonna learn where your ass belongs, huh?

To be honest, every girl i have loved, was like another life, in a different world. To me it was really like dying and being granted another life, being reborn again - they should have called me Renato...

OMG, Renate, the witch, scary but wonderful woman, I almost forgot you (no, I don't forget you ever, every now and then I honor your memory with a day of remembering as much as I can, I feel my blood bruising in my venes and I can see my demons). You were right about me, but what I said, i honestly meant. Are you the one tricking around in my life? I have to see you again, and hug you much and tell you how right you were against all odds about my life, how could you know?

It's not like that they came in to my life and got out of it, and the next please, no. Life is trial and error, sometimes they don't survive. Sometimes love don't survive. There is no next love or next girl, there is a different life, no one replaces someone else.

Hey pon, you are the one never meant to be, how could it be for so long... please face it, we were like children with lost faith, struggling to keep together. We were everything, except man and woman, regardless of our "marriage". I don't want to lose you, but I don't know how to keep you for what you really are to me, I could cry myself to death...

Little scorpiongirl, I still believe in you and me, don't be mad at me, look in your heart and believe what you see - it's nothing wrong with it. I didn't mean to hurt you, and don't get me wrong - I didn't say no, just do it for the true reason. Obeying your culture and your religion is ok, as long as you don't throw your happiness away. I can live with your background, but I couldn't live with you being unhappy due to your heritage. You don't belong in here anyway, you have an own letter. I had to say this here because I know how you think about "my other wives" and children.

Hey little tough guy

A few words to you from man to man.

If you're riding with them, you've got to stand by them, and you better have a good reason if you don't. If you wear a tie, they call it integrity, back in your streets it's called coglioni.

But again, don't be a testa di cazzo, it's nothing wrong with not having the biggest palle, just drop your paura will do too. Remember, you don't have to live up to anybody's gauge - you set your own standards. Find your strength, what's your power. Power is not muscles or guns (even if it helps though) nor violence or hate. Never threaten anybody, if you think you would need to do so, you didn't make clear, that nobody fucks with Tony Montana.

Mankind posesses a natural violence, and sooner or later you will be faced with your own violence. It will surprise you when you least expect it, but for whatever reason, never feel guilty and learn to deal with it. Know yourself enough, if you pull the trigger, can you live with it. If the baby is dead, the mother won't ask for excuses, means, never do something you'd regret later.

For most of the times it's not why but what that counts. Or to put it the simple way - for the others it's the results that counts, for you it'd be the reason. If not, you could be doing anything for no reason at all, you think you'd be happy? Ask your mother, she had a passionate attitude towards life, and happiness (and she's right, sono stato stupido).

I wish I would have known then, what I know now, but i was riding wild and fast, the game was rough, and I would turn my mind in the blink of an eye (shit, sounds like an excuse...) - by the way, I heard, that's what you are like? Watch your step cowboy, and if you wanna get as old as I am, you better watch your back too. Don't walk in my shoes, believe me, there are better shoes to walk, this is no rap-shit-hip-hop stuff.

And don't fight. Go fight in the ring, but don't take it to the streets, don't take it in your life (and in no case ever take it home), and remember what I told you about violence. The best fight is the one not fought and the best victory to seamlessly win a battle. Sun Tzu wrote some ideas on this worth to mention, just define for yourself for what you're doing it, Gandhi and Machiavelli helps maybe to understand. I guess you already found those book in the vitrine - don't get too involved, life's more than theory.

Learn the tricks and do it better, but never forget - life is not a trick... beware, life can change every day for a totally different, but again, any change is a good change.

Hey sweety - always a baby to me

If a stranger would love you forever, do you believe it would make up for the many years he didn't? Maybe in your heart he was no stranger, but still not there he always loved you...

It seems a natural thing, for me, to put your precious life above everything. You have accomplished the meaning of my life. It is like a great peaceful fire burning calm and steady inside me, and schould it tear me up now, I would only pity the time I couldn't be more for you - to cherish your happiness and see you in blossom is my gratest joy...

Time and again, I've been close to despair, and doubts were killing me, because she never told me if you are, or you are not... nevertheless, how could she know?

Caring about my little baby, I held back showing up scaring the shit out of your poor "daddy" again, I didn't want to jeopardise your childhood in any way. I even found myself praying he would be good to you.

You've been growing in my heart, your first day in school, your first love, sorrow and happiness. Through the years, you have been on my mind, to be honest, you have accompanied every single day of my life since your mother almost whispered those words, that certain night, your lifetime ago. It was no easy trick to go on living with that.

Stupid me, I never figured little you had the right to know, so I just stuck to the deal and hoped for the day you would start to ask those questions by yourself. Sooner or later your mother probably told you, and I kept worrying how you would be when you found out. I've seen many people dying old, and some dying young, believe me sweety, the only thing that remains when life's vanishing is love...

If you would call me when you need me, I would run to you on my bare feet. I could break myself trying to be the one you deserve, and you would still deserve even more, honey. What could an ugly broke old bastard be good for you, even with his wild heart on the right spot? What difference would it make to you, if another mad hobo like me would be crazy about you?

Even if I see you never again, I will love you forever, sweety. Word.

Laugh and cry, live and die with you

laugh and cry,
live and die,
with you...

May I have the rest of you?

After you, I tried to burry the memories of you for many years, I've tried hard to forget, but without great success, I've shed rivers of tears throughout the years. I've had many girls ever since, but never had the feeling it's gonna do till the very end. Then, I wondered about the meaning of all, and my mind stumbled upon you, but you were no more. This happened year in, year out, I dropped everything and headed to you, just like the old days. Often enough I was pretty close to you, but I don't know what kept me from driving the last bit and knocking on your door. Was I afraid of what I would find then, maybe you with a happy family? Or maybe just you being different from my memories? Sometimes I would remember that last thing you asked me for, what if you hadn't changed your mind yet, that would make me turn around too.

To all the girls I've since loved, who even as close as skin on skin, accused me of not being there, you were right. This closeness didn't belong to any of you, always that someone crossed my mind, and I've got carried far away, far back in time. I missed her life, I missed her love.

Years passing, every now and then, girls getting their babies, with a daddy long gone. I was always running, because I've never got it right, one step from heaven I've always felt it was wrong heaven.

Worse, some years ago I've knocked on heavens door again, but I've got it all wrong, and I dropped you. I was mad at you less maybe, than mad at faith that cut my heart offline. In my paranoia I thought you tried to push me back into my hell without you, not realising that you just wanted to be certain, after what you've been through. And most of all, trying to be a good mother, completely dedicated to her baby. I am sorry, there we've lost some more years, and you maybe needing me the most...

Today, I don't know how to live with it, that I didn't return to take care of you, that I've let you drifting for twenty years. Your joyful attitude can not really hide what you have been through - don't play it down, I can see clearly you had a hard time. What would your life had been having me, even if not together, but still in the near to catch you when you were falling.

Today, I cry again, every day, but for a different reason. I cry for the tragedy of having lost twenty years with the one I've always loved, fearing that the rest will not be enough... I wish we would have thousand more years to live, and thousand more lives to live... I never could get enough of you...

Now we're getting old with grey hair, each of us having others children, and I don't dare to speak it out loudly, none with each other? Where we finished twenty years ago, we can never ever continue because it is too late? And I would never suppose you to live up to it, how much I ever would wish for it...

Oh, how I hate you...

Hey Jeanette, you don't know how crazy I was about you. I was going for the blond one though, cuz I thought you would diss me anyway. You remember snowball-war at school? Well, I hardly do, but afterwards, as the teachers were late and everybody was chillin in class, you were suddenly standing next to me (was that by accident?) and you said "I hate you, oh what I hate you" with that strange smile in your face. When I think of it, that happened quiet often, and at that time I actually thought you hate me. Did I? Well, I was not sure... you often gave me looks, and I thought because you must hate me. I couldn't figure any reason, I didn't ever harm you, I actually tried to be friendly, but I guess that came out kinda strange... I remember tears in your eyes, one of the last times you ever said "oh, how I hate you" to me, and you looked at me for quiet a while, that was in that church on the last day of school. The next time we met was ten something years later. You turned around in the line and as you looked at me, your way changed to that of years before. Completely unsurprised, you said "Is that you? Are you back?" For a moment we were just a breath away and I felt like struck by a lightning. What did you try to tell me so many years before? This man behind you looked more and more displaced while dealing with the groceries. You said "I'm married" kinda with an undertone of regret and rebuke. As the man was done (he was truly big as a yeti), he teared you away, and while leaving still turned around, you looked at me with those eyes again, all the way out... I had a glimt of you at leaving the parking, still looking back, but with emptiness in your eyes, I don't know if you saw me though.

Beloved sarcastic angel

Who said we're just friends?

I still can't believe the ass I have been with you. No, that's just insufficient. I throw myself in the dirt for your feet and apologise, I am sorry. I could never forgive someone done what I have done, and I don't expect you to forgive me. Even less after all that I felt for you - not only as a friend...

Remembering your way of being and how much I always enjoyed you, from the first time you stepped into my life in Kitzbühel till the last time I brought you home-home, slightly strange things have accompanied our way. This girlfriend of yours who overran me (I have almost forgotten her by now...), she was getting everything wrong (yeah, I know, I was guilty too), but right from the beginning - the one that caught my eye was you.

You were like deep and dark water, pure heart, too good for this world. I was young and I was jealous, I was wild and unpredictable, I didn't know myself, where my life would carry me the next. I felt too young to get settled though I would have needed it after those years of odyssey. And I couldn't believe I was lucky enough to find the one, you. I couldn't believe it all the way, yeah, just friends. Did I say that?

You were once away for two weeks (masterclass Crebbers?), and though I had lots of "friends" and knew lots of girls, I realised, there was a huge hole in the major part of my world. I struggled against that hole, I struggled against the acceptance of you in my life, against admitting just how much you meant to me.

I could keep my cool, hell, I never intended to be together with you. After all, it was supposed to be much harder to find the one in a lifetime, it couldn't happen just like that. That's what I believed at that time. What a mistake.

I still feel the same about you (just like I told you that time, remember?) and I have absolutely no intentions (quiet similar to those days, but today for different reasons).

We were doing everything that lovers do, you even had a fray with your (I thought) best girlfriend, that is, she beat you up still almost sleeping, right? Poor you got a black eye because of me.

As you were away once, I was missing you madly. We didn't call, because, hey, we were just friends, huh? I still couldn't wait for you coming back, I was counting the days, yes.

Now you're having someone elses baby, and I'm wondering how it would be if that one would be mine too.

You, poor sod...

Listen tosh. If somebody would ask me to characterise you, I would have to say "no mames, he ain't no characters, he's a shit & run type, tuckin his wiener between his legs beating it like a shit ass bitch". You recognise yourself? No hard feelings, huh? I can't lie to them people about you, can I… I'm soon filling up a half century (I won't invite you, pardon me), and just reminiscing, my girl (you know) asked me once if I ever regret dumping you. Well, I'd rather stick to stupid friends than having an intelligent and educated little bastard throwing shit at my back. Besides, as I ain't that stupid myself, I can afford a certain quota of retard friends as long as their hearts are pure. Tough, huh? Knowing that there _is_ something you will never qualify for. Ever.

To be even more honest, the only reason I'm waisting time writing this is, we had plenty of laughs through the years on your back. This is kinda hommage to a mofo with an attitude that stems from egotism and angsty inferiority complexes paired with a deviated sense for reality and total lack of social intelligence. Before you speak out a lousy excuse: in your case genius and insanity does not go hand in hand, videlicet you manque any of those qualities.

Did anybody ever mention that you wiggle with your pussy ass like some kinda wasted faggot? No, huh? I guess nobody wants to face a weeping drama of yours in public, hell, even less with you alone somewhere. FYI, I could never make up my mind, whether I should find you a fag or not, and I guess I wasn't the only one. People kept asking me if you like to take or shove it in the ass, assuming I would know just because I gave you a job. Inherently you must have been a fag I guess, or at least bi, but I never gave it a second thought (till now) since I consider being queer a choice of sexual preference, and not something to doom people by. I work with gay men and gay girls too, and they prove wonderful people just the same (except you lol...)

So this is my car - obviously the other ones are mine too, but those could you too almost afford - the hoe ain't mine, well, nell senso that i ain't marrying her, she was also interested in my rides too…

This is my house. Of course the whole house, or do you call half houses a house where you come from - oh, never mind that, i forgot that is ancient culture… i hear you say "where i come from, they built houses two thousand years before they built anything where you come from!" Yeah, dipshit - that's a point, isn't it. Your brother is much bigger than my brother, and you know someone that has a much bigger house than i have, and i bet you know even someone that has a faster car than any of mine… gofuckyourself.

This is my hoe… you kinda knew her, huh? I knew your hoe, everybody knew your hoe, she was almost as nice as my hoe, but your hoe was not only your hoe, so you figured you go for my hoe. You bought my hoe red roses, for her just as stupid as red noses. You didnt know she likes big cars, big boys, and good food, a nice crib with ofuro, from where she can see the sea, with me, and the sunset. You tried with McFastfood, and cheap coffee without that special cake, what a mistake. As I came home, she said, why couldn't you just drop by and give her the money for all your efforts instead - or even better - put it in an envelope and drop it in the mailbox. No, loser, she said, better you'd not go for attention, and definetly no action. Talkin like a wench, not even stopping when she'd go to refresh herself, she wondered, how can someone talk so much about himself? Because he's the only one in his little crappy world? You know what your hoe told me why she wouldn't be your hoe only? She wouldn't be a mother for ya, she wouldn't care for ya, like a large-grown menacing baby, which lost it's napkin, crapping around because it didnt get it's limp bisquit in. The only games she would play with you was wrestling, wishing for a little hustling, wishing for you to take overhand, but for you it was no playing, you were only about winning, so she didn't let you, bad loser. She liked sweet boys, but they were bad boys, so I told her, and she realised, that she liked bad boys, who don't look like bad boys, so, you were another pick of the litter.

"She left me!!!", yeah after she found out the ride you picked her up with, you borrowed from me - then she came to the source of course, and guess what!, my bisquit is bigger than your bisquit, limp bisquit (yeah, she told me that too…) And that great BJ btw never happened, the handjob already did it for ya! Then you were wondering in the morning, why you had to hear "would you take me home please, - now." Right after she closed the door on you, my celly rang "Please, can you pick me up? Pleeease?" She had a sleepless night and got dark rings around her eyes - guess at whose place she finally fell at sleep at… And while you'd shit bricks calling me, she slumbered in my arms like an oriental goddess… do you remember that phonecall? I prepared and passed her on to you, and you fucked it up. Bravo, cazzo.

I can't remember her getting back to you on her knees either. You just have to face it, she dumped your sorry ass before it even started. How was that, "that's my chick, she's for me" - uhu… Man, that was the fastest one night "stand" I've ever heard of, and I thought I was fast doin hookups…

Oh, and this is me (then). yer mute… did I just knock you off your feet? You can print it out, and look every day at it, to see what total coolness is like. How somebody looks that gives a flying fuck. And to be reminded of, what kind of friends people like you will never get. And to realise what a creepazoid you are not getting it, that the whole schmear was gone with me when I quit. Or did you think _anybody_ would come back on his knees to _you_?

You asked what friends are for, and then you said, to tell you how much you suck. Well here we go: I probably would tell you, that yer a coward, you're not a bad boy - you're just a baby asshole, you're not a genius - how can someone be such a dipshit knowing so much? But, as we were never friends after all, I just probably didn't say that, did I?

Everybody loves me, they open up their hearts and receive me, let me in. I'm not sure, if even your mama loves you a bit, but less than that, absolutely nobody. For this reason it is even more surprising, that you got married. To find a blunt enough female digging your scene must have been a miracle of parody, knowing how you was talking bout her when she was still somebody elses fuck. I don't want to propose any defamation of her, I actually liked her ways, but she never fit my prey preference. Everybody have tried her out, not that she would be a penny less worth for it (if you would judge me by that, I'd be worth less than crap) … but trying in this sense implicates a habit to me, and who keeps trying for the sake of it, you name it...

You have a natural born ability to turn everything into shit (OMG, I try not to imagine your poor (ex?)wife, and your kids, you must have been a ride to hell…). You sure them your kids? Paternity-tests are affordable nowadays, and don't hurt (physically…) I heard about anonymous groups for "daddys" that raised strangers kids...

Btw, dou you remember the rings? I did it. But that you must have found out on your own, according to the traces you left. You should use proxies, spoofing and fake macs when digging around in other peoples servers (I hope my intrusion defense didn't ruin your machine, [grin])

Writing this I had at least 6-9 ROFLs yet, and a wide grin still stuck in my face, but once again your show in absence is over and forgive me if I quit without standing ovations, but yer hardly worth the laughs you give us. So, fuck off sod, I hope you get what you deserve, no hard feelings, huh? (shit, LOL)

Disclaimer: I was tired, drunk and on drugs when I wrote this. Additionally, I didn't see my shrink regularily for a while. So, all similarity with living, deceased or stupid persons is absolutely coincidental, even if intended so. Besides, this is total nonsense anyway (fuck, where is the grin-smiley?), and once again, a happy: "sue me and get a surprise for free!"

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